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- BigREDbird
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BigREDbird Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:28 am
First topic message reminder :
Well, let's lighten up this world in which we live,
Feel free to post ANY jokes you like!
Well, let's lighten up this world in which we live,
Feel free to post ANY jokes you like!
Last edited by BigREDbird on Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
- ian gibsonAcademy Player
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ian gibson Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:18 am
Paddy and his wife are discussing their sex life. "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight" said Paddy, "what the hell's that" asked his wife. "you bend over, hands on the floor, and I pick your legs up and shag you from behind" said Paddy. She says "I'll do it on two conditions, 1. If it hurts you stop straight away. 2. You make sure we don't go past my mums house".
- ian gibsonAcademy Player
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ian gibson Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:24 am
I saw this Dutch bloke out walking the other day, he looked lost so I asked him if he needed directions, he said "no, I've got sat nav built into my shoes". I thought " facking clever clogs".
- Rhys
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Rhys Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:24 am
ian gibson wrote:Paddy and his wife are discussing their sex life. "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight" said Paddy, "what the hell's that" asked his wife. "you bend over, hands on the floor, and I pick your legs up and shag you from behind" said Paddy. She says "I'll do it on two conditions, 1. If it hurts you stop straight away. 2. You make sure we don't go past my mums house".
We've all been there.- G-ster
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G-ster Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:39 am
Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky-dive.
When I got to the door of the plane I just couldn't jump so the 6ft 7inch black instructor unzips his fly and says: 'If you don't jump you're getting this baby right up your arse!' "
Mick asks: "Did you jump?"
Paddy replies: "A little bit when it first went in."
When I got to the door of the plane I just couldn't jump so the 6ft 7inch black instructor unzips his fly and says: 'If you don't jump you're getting this baby right up your arse!' "
Mick asks: "Did you jump?"
Paddy replies: "A little bit when it first went in."
- Colonel Cardiffi
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Colonel Cardiffi Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:54 am
BigREDbird wrote:Tbf I deserve quite a few plus points from this thread! Anyone who
Done!
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:00 am
Colonel Cardiffi wrote:BigREDbird wrote:Tbf I deserve quite a few plus points from this thread! Anyone who
Done!
Glad I saw you post, I have a plan... Apparently someone is going to be offline for a few days, IMO this place is primed for the Bigred/Colonel aggressive takeover... It'll be us against 3G data!!! Hahahaha!!
*oops thought this was a PM*
- Colonel CardiffiNational Legend
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Colonel Cardiffi Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:27 am
BigREDbird wrote:Colonel Cardiffi wrote:BigREDbird wrote:Tbf I deserve quite a few plus points from this thread! Anyone who
Done!
Glad I saw you post, I have a plan... Apparently someone is going to be offline for a few days, IMO this place is primed for the Bigred/Colonel aggressive takeover... It'll be us against 3G data!!! Hahahaha!!
*oops thought this was a PM*
I'm going to swagger around the place with one nut hanging out of my fly, slapping birds on the arse and making inappropriate comments.
- Judge dRed
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Judge dRed Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:39 am
BigREDbird wrote:Well, let's lighten up this world in which we live,
Feel free to post ANY jokes you like!
I once heard a joke about wasps but RSI prevents me from typing it out
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:11 am
Judge dRed wrote:BigREDbird wrote:Well, let's lighten up this world in which we live,
Feel free to post ANY jokes you like!
I once heard a joke about wasps but RSI prevents me from typing it out
RSI ?
Just post it....
- Cyncoedslumdog
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Cyncoedslumdog Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:20 am
The Government has advised everyone who has bought tickets for the Olympics to check they are not fakes.
Obviously I checked my tickets for the mens wheelchair triple jump straight away and they look genuine thank goodness.
Obviously I checked my tickets for the mens wheelchair triple jump straight away and they look genuine thank goodness.
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:33 am
Cyncoedslumdog wrote:The Government has advised everyone who has bought tickets for the Olympics to check they are not fakes.
Obviously I checked my tickets for the mens wheelchair triple jump straight away and they look genuine thank goodness.
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:59 am
Following the crash of a single seater plane into a graveyard just outside Dublin a spokesman for the Irish police said that they were unable to give a final death toll but so far they had recovered 116 bodies.
Last edited by BigREDbird on Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:01 am; edited 1 time in total
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:00 am
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
- CyncoedslumdogNational Legend
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Cyncoedslumdog Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:07 am
I'm hosting a charity event tonight in aid of people who can't reach orgasm.
Let me know if you can't come.
Let me know if you can't come.
- BigREDbirdTeam Captain
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BigREDbird Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:07 am
Two Swansea fans are killed in a gunfight and find themselves standing at the back of the line to see St. Peter.It gets pretty boring after a while and they decide to find out what's taking so long and stroll up the line. As they approach St.Peter,a handsome Cardiff fan on a beautiful stallion at the full gallop, rides past everyone and the pearly gates open up instantly to let him in.
The two Jacks look at each other and then at St.Peter.One says,"Hey buddy,what's with us waiting all day and that City fan jumping the line?"
St.Peter looks up from his ledger and sighs. "He does this all the time."
The two Jacks shake their heads and mumble something unpleasant. At that moment the gates open up and the same horseman gallops back out into the clouds.
Now the two Jacks are really miffed and as their turn on the ledger looms the gates open up once more for the speeding horseman. At the big desk,St. Peter looks down at them and asks their names. "Never mind our names," says one Jack,"Just who the heck is that damn Cardiff City fan?" St.Peter fixes them with a withering glare.
"That,gentlemen is GOD, He just thinks He's a Cardiff fan."
The two Jacks look at each other and then at St.Peter.One says,"Hey buddy,what's with us waiting all day and that City fan jumping the line?"
St.Peter looks up from his ledger and sighs. "He does this all the time."
The two Jacks shake their heads and mumble something unpleasant. At that moment the gates open up and the same horseman gallops back out into the clouds.
Now the two Jacks are really miffed and as their turn on the ledger looms the gates open up once more for the speeding horseman. At the big desk,St. Peter looks down at them and asks their names. "Never mind our names," says one Jack,"Just who the heck is that damn Cardiff City fan?" St.Peter fixes them with a withering glare.
"That,gentlemen is GOD, He just thinks He's a Cardiff fan."
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