Viz Top Tips Anyone?
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- G-sterClub Legend
- Posts : 1717
User Points : 5923
Posting Flair : 460
Join date : 2012-06-14
Location : Taffs Well
Masturbators. Create the effect that you've been sleeping on your arm by getting someone else to pull you off.
Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking a match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
Convince bar staff that your pint is off by sticking your finger up your arse before holding the glass close to their nose.
Fill a whoopee cushion with brown sauce to make it look like the person who sat on it has followed through.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Rod Hull. It finished 1-1 by the way.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Recreate the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.
Employers. Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.
Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking a match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
Convince bar staff that your pint is off by sticking your finger up your arse before holding the glass close to their nose.
Fill a whoopee cushion with brown sauce to make it look like the person who sat on it has followed through.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Rod Hull. It finished 1-1 by the way.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Recreate the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.
Employers. Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.
G-ster wrote:Masturbators. Create the effect that you've been sleeping on your arm by getting someone else to pull you off.
Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking a match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
Convince bar staff that your pint is off by sticking your finger up your arse before holding the glass close to their nose.
Fill a whoopee cushion with brown sauce to make it look like the person who sat on it has followed through.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Rod Hull. It finished 1-1 by the way.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Recreate the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.
Employers. Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.
- Mr Cholmondley-WarnerAcademy Player
- Posts : 39
User Points : 349
Posting Flair : 80
Join date : 2012-06-14
Location : The 1940's
Save money on expensive chewing gum that "stimulates the mouths natural saliva" by simply asking a friend to gob in your mouth.
- CyncoedslumdogNational Legend
- Posts : 4113
User Points : 14106
Posting Flair : 1465
Join date : 2012-06-14
Age : 110
Location : Cardiff
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will stop you rolling over and going to sleep again.
- CyncoedslumdogNational Legend
- Posts : 4113
User Points : 14106
Posting Flair : 1465
Join date : 2012-06-14
Age : 110
Location : Cardiff
DEPRESSED PEOPLE. Instead of attempting suicide as a cry for help - simply shout help.
- Mr Cholmondley-WarnerAcademy Player
- Posts : 39
User Points : 349
Posting Flair : 80
Join date : 2012-06-14
Location : The 1940's
Using a rubber glove to open a stiff lid is a great way of avoiding palm chaffing....
It is all totally innocent but sounds rather smutty
It is all totally innocent but sounds rather smutty
- Kenny Lynch MobAcademy Player
- Posts : 25
User Points : 45
Posting Flair : 20
Join date : 2012-06-17
Age : 52
Location : Reading
Not a viz top tip, but I did get a letter printed in the Viz letters page once, well sort of. My idea for a letter was divulged to a couple of mates at a barbecue and one of them sent it in and got it published. It was
'I bet Davros the chief dalek wishes his predicament was the other way round, at least then he could have a wank' that's why he was always so tetchy
'I bet Davros the chief dalek wishes his predicament was the other way round, at least then he could have a wank' that's why he was always so tetchy
- Arfur EuropeFirst Team Regular
- Posts : 198
User Points : 744
Posting Flair : 100
Join date : 2012-06-14
Convince your neighbours that you have one of those expensive gravel drives by simply glueing rice crispies to your tyres each time you drive in.
- Arfur EuropeFirst Team Regular
- Posts : 198
User Points : 744
Posting Flair : 100
Join date : 2012-06-14
Oil Companies: Avoid the general public pointing global warming fingers at you by putting some pictures of trees and flowers on your websites and adverts.
- SaladSocksAcademy Player
- Posts : 10
User Points : 24
Posting Flair : 10
Join date : 2012-06-22
Location : Hampshire
Ensure the light in your fridge is switching off when you close the door by drilling a large hole in it.
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