A warning

For what I promise you is the first time in my life, I just got hit in the crotch by a massive wad of white foam.

No, not what you are all thinking you dirty people. It's liquid soap that I've just discovered should be handled with care. Getting ready for work I was putting my Id badge around my neck with one hand and putting soap on my hand with the other. Problem is if you're not paying attention and you miss, it hits you square in the knackers and even after being rubbed off looks like a damning white, foamy stain on your zipper.

Thought if share this public embarrassment warning.

Should have been wearing your lab coat... You will now be known as Mr Jizzy Strides in work

I think you'll find that ladies find this to be even more a thing to avoid

I hope this isn't too personal a question to ask, but exactly how far do you squirt? Must've been one hell of a shot.
Please note that I'm referring to the liquid soap.

nearly as bad a toothpaste

You'll be having this conversation a few times today red..."no,no,no.(polite chuckle) you see it is liquid soap....."