Defending your home against burgulars

Chris Grayling said we are ok as long as the force we use is not "grossly disproportionate". Presumably that means we are allowed to be disproportionate, as long as it's not grossly.

Unfortunately, like most of the British public, I'm a bit stupid and easily confused. What we need is a list of things that we would be allowed to do to an intruder, should we catch them nicking our video.
Would any of these be acceptable?

Kick in the nuts.

Punch in the stomach.

Throwing a dining table at the head.

Screaming in their earhole.

Making them have sex with your dog.

Hitting them on the head with a Kenwood Magimix, tying them up with rope, going out into the garden to dig a pit, throwing them in the pit, chucking petrol on them and lobbing in a match. Quick cup of tea. Fill in hole. Call Police.

I've looked up grossly disproportionate as it is used by Chris Grayling and it is intended to disallow acts that are barbaric. So Happy Days all of you sanctions seem appropriate as long as you don't 'rape n' pillage'™ the intruder along the way or set fire to his longboat

this could and can easily turn into a catch 22 situation, as its now ok to defend ya home/family from burglers u can use reasonable force... so say for example someone breaks in and the person would normally call police and hide away until they came - will now go and batter s**t out of the intruder, (the way it should be imo) so where does reasonable force stop?!

i wouldnt think twice about smacking a baseball bat over a burglers head (which i keep by bed) in the words of ivan drago "if he dies he dies" the dickhead shouldnt have been in my house stealing the stuff i worked hard and paid for,,,, simples!

Don't go any further than a severe Chinese Burn and you should be OK.

this could and can easily turn into a catch 22 situation, as its now ok to defend ya home/family from burglers u can use reasonable force... so say for example someone breaks in and the person would normally call police and hide away until they came - will now go and batter s**t out of the intruder, (the way it should be imo) so where does reasonable force stop?!

i wouldnt think twice about smacking a baseball bat over a burglers head (which i keep by bed) in the words of ivan drago "if he dies he dies" the dickhead shouldnt have been in my house stealing the stuff i worked hard and paid for,,,, simples!

In my opinion, criminals should be considered to of given up their human rights by making the decision to break into someone's house, rape someone, etc. why should we give a damn about someone's health who's currently in the act of stealing your hard earned possessions? The very idea that a burglar can sue you for hurting them, while admitting to be in the middle of robbing your house, is ridiculous.

I worked in a cafe for a while and when cashing up at night there was a large tray of very big, very sharp knives hooked to the wall on the table I worked on. I always happily said if someone came around at night to attempt to rob me, I'd grab one without hesitation, and I'd also use it if the individual didn't decide to immediately leave after I warned him. Same with my house, there's a sledgehammer handle under my bed that I can 100% promise will be going around the head of a burglar if I ever find him in my house. Why should I risk the safety of my partner, my daughter or my home simply because the scumbag in front of me is inexplicably able to try and take me to court?

Red614 wrote:In my opinion, criminals should be considered to of given up their human rights by making the decision to break into someone's house, rape someone, etc. why should we give a damn about someone's health who's currently in the act of stealing your hard earned possessions? The very idea that a burglar can sue you for hurting them, while admitting to be in the middle of robbing your house, is ridiculous.

I worked in a cafe for a while and when cashing up at night there was a large tray of very big, very sharp knives hooked to the wall on the table I worked on. I always happily said if someone came around at night to attempt to rob me, I'd grab one without hesitation, and I'd also use it if the individual didn't decide to immediately leave after I warned him. Same with my house, there's a sledgehammer handle under my bed that I can 100% promise will be going around the head of a burglar if I ever find him in my house. Why should I risk the safety of my partner, my daughter or my home simply because the scumbag in front of me is inexplicably able to try and take me to court?

Just a handle?



But yeh I agree and to be honest I've never heard anyone actually disagree with what anyone has said on this thread. Apart from the law, of course.

If someone breaks in to my house I'll take it that they really enjoy my property so much that they don't want to leave. Therefore, I'll just keep them in the basement and they can stay for however long they like. I'll feed them one meal per day and give them one bowl of milk every 2 days. Kind of like adopting a stray cat that keeps coming into your garden. Also, just like a cat I will give this intruder a new name.

I see no problems at all with this.

It's not just thieves that this applies to... There's a local brass band which I frequently catch testing my doors and windows looking to gain entry and making a general cacophony...

How do you defend your home against Buglers....

Valley Trash wrote:It's not just thieves that this applies to... There's a local brass band which I frequently catch testing my doors and windows looking to gain entry and making a general cacophony...

How do you defend your home against Buglers....

I'm pretty certain the government has a policy of "anything goes" if a brass band encroaches onto your property. So it's good news, leave your door slightly ajar and when they inevitably find it too hard to resist and enter your abode you can Go Medieval on they Ass.
As ever in these situations, be wary, Kazoo's are very much a grey area.

Happy Days wrote:

Valley Trash wrote:It's not just thieves that this applies to... There's a local brass band which I frequently catch testing my doors and windows looking to gain entry and making a general cacophony...

How do you defend your home against Buglers....

I'm pretty certain the government has a policy of "anything goes" if a brass band encroaches onto your property. So it's good news, leave your door slightly ajar and when they inevitably find it too hard to resist and enter your abode you can Go Medieval on they Ass.
As ever in these situations, be wary, Kazoo's are very much a grey area.

Top sensible advice again Happy Days

I may try it out tonight and leave a trail of Bible pages leading up to my slightly ajar front door and then play a waiting game with the Salvation Army brass band... Tooled up with my mace and my wattle and daub Glock 23

Note to self: Do not break into Tasche's or Red's house without a helmet and stab vest. Trash's place is OK as long as I bring a string section.

Cheers for the info guys!