Strange things you've done whilst drunk

This fella will take some beating....

A drunk man set fire to a packet of peanuts and tried making love to an ambulance, North Devon Magistrates' Court has heard.

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2M6IxCh3S

Sounds like he had quite a good night?

A mate of mine once thought it would be a good idea to piss his pants to warm himself up whilst walking home from the pub on a cold night.

The warmth would last for two-three seconds before he ended up colder than he was before!

On returning from a gloriously pissed up pub session, I thought it'd be a reeeeeaally good idea to break into my girlfriends house and surprise her in her bedroom .

It was feckin' freezing and everything was covered in ice but that didn't stop me from clambering over the 8ft high back wall and shimmying up a drainpipe and onto the balcony behind her bedroom. Once there, I realised I couldn't really break the window (my hands were practically frozen off anyway) so kept knocking on the window until she woke up.

Thankfully, she found it funny rather than the idiotic, dangerous and darn right odd thing to do that it actually was.

You're lucky your girlfriend isn't Oscar Pistorius

Slumdog's Son wrote:You're lucky your girlfriend isn't Oscar Pistorius

Although, the searing hot pain of the bullet tearing through my icy flesh would've warmed me up, albeit briefly.

Ran amok in a field of horses. Down Swansea actually. Although that could've been a car park.

Then the icy grip of death would have wrapped itself around you. Followed by a cricket bat to the head. The coup d'etat, or "Oscar" as it's now known

ended up in the back of a panda car once

A car driven by a panda?

Clearly off his tits on meth though rather than just drunk! Reminds me of two of my mates in Ibiza after they'd had some questionable substances; walking through the car park of the superclub Amnesia and they both stopped at the exact same Toyota Auris and started stroking the rear lights, one said they were the most beautiful thing he'd seen all holiday, me and my other mate who were totally sober were rolling on the floor!

Stupidest things I've done drunk:
-Stuck up for my mate's English dickhead of a cousin and got battered by 4 blokes
-Fell asleep in Oceana
-Told my mate that I dipped my fingers in his pint glass after dipping my fingers in my missus, without realising that my missus was in the toilet of the student room we were in. That was an eventful night.
-Necked some true rotters
-Tried to run home to Ponty from St Fagans via some of the railway line
-Walked 4 miles home wearing a Gandalf costume covered in spew with no shoes on (it was 7:30am and broad daylight when I got in)
-Got my balls out and showed everyone on the Ponty-Cardiff train
-Got my balls out in a packed kebab house in Newcastle, and one bird had her photo taken with them.
and many more that I can't recall at this present moment in time.

So yeah, that's me.

Colin's Reversible Hat wrote:Clearly off his tits on meth though rather than just drunk! Reminds me of two of my mates in Ibiza after they'd had some questionable substances; walking through the car park of the superclub Amnesia and they both stopped at the exact same Toyota Auris and started stroking the rear lights, one said they were the most beautiful thing he'd seen all holiday, me and my other mate who were totally sober were rolling on the floor!

Stupidest things I've done drunk:
-Stuck up for my mate's English dickhead of a cousin and got battered by 4 blokes
-Fell asleep in Oceana
-Told my mate that I dipped my fingers in his pint glass after dipping my fingers in my missus, without realising that my missus was in the toilet of the student room we were in. That was an eventful night.
-Necked some true rotters
-Tried to run home to Ponty from St Fagans via some of the railway line
-Walked 4 miles home wearing a Gandalf costume covered in spew with no shoes on (it was 7:30am and broad daylight when I got in)
-Got my balls out and showed everyone on the Ponty-Cardiff train
-Got my balls out in a packed kebab house in Newcastle, and one bird had her photo taken with them.
and many more that I can't recall at this present moment in time.

So yeah, that's me.

Now this is the kind of behaviour I would expect of a teacher. I particularly like your Gandalf efforts

A teacher? Brilliant. What school do you teach at? My children shall be going there

I aint no teacher. Basically I work with the kids that the teachers can't teach/put up with, along with some others. And get paid a lot less than them. Worth noting that all of these antics were during my studenthood and I'm now sat at a desk wearing a cable knit jumper, so I must have matured at least a bit.