friday joke

A refuse collector , is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer. Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - a bit harder and then harder still. Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door. "Harro!" says the Chinese man. "Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector. "I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed. Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.. "No! No! Mate, where’s your dust bin?" "I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Chinese man, still perplexed. "Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie' bin?'" "OK, OK." replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin and whispers in the collector's ear. "I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"

always rely on you tache for a touch class

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
The doctor said "When you feel you are ready to ejaculate try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol.
All excited to try this suggestion he ran home to his wife. At home he foung his wife in bed naked and waiting. As the two began they found themselves in the 69 postion. The man moments later felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired off the starter pistol.
The next day the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked "How did it go?" The man answered "Not that well. When i fired the pistol my wife s**t in my face, bit my penis, and my sons friend came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

OK - Might as well keep the loose theme going.

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is out working. She has a curious 9 year old son who decides to hide in his mother's closet to watch. However the woman's husband comes home from work unexpectedly and she ushers her lover into the same closet.

Inside the closet, after an awkward pause, the boys says "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The man cautiously answers "Yes it is"
"Want to buy a baseball glove?" the boy asks.
"No thanks"
"Oh i think you do" the boy says meaningfully.
The man sighs realising what is happening. "OK. How Much?"
"50 dollars" the boy says.
"You're kidding" says the man "Gloves don't cost that much!"
"Or i'll tell my dad" the boy says confidently.
The man sighs again but reluctantly agrees to give the boy 50 dollars.

A few weeks go by and then one day the same thing happens and the woman's husband comes home unexpected. The lover is ushered into the closet once more.
It is silent for a minute and then he hears the words "It's dark in here isn't it?"
"Yes it is" replies the man fearing the worst.
"Want to buy my baseball?"
"How much?" sighs the man.
"50 dollars" the boy says calmly.
"Just for a damn ball!" exclaims the man.
"Well that and my silence" the boy answers.
The guy grumbles but once more he agrees to pay the boy 50 dollars.

A few days later the boy's dad calls to him. "Hey Johnny - it's a nice evening so how about you get your ball and glove and we go out and play some catch?"
"I can't dad" Johnny replies "I've sold my glove and ball"
"What? You couldn't have got much for them. Why did you sell them?" his father asks surprised.
"I got a hundred dollars" says Johnny.
His father is shocked and angry. "Johnny, those items were not worth anywhere near that amount! It is wrong of you to take advantage of your friends like that. You are going to confession this weekend!"

Sunday arrives and the father sends Johnny up to confession. The boy walks inside and draws the dividing curtain and shuts the door. He hears someone move in to the booth alongside him. The boy finally speaks.
"Dark in here isn't it?" says Johnny.
"Look - don't start that s**t again" says the priest.

A wise old native American Chief is sat outside his teepee with his three children. The Sun is just breaking on a cold spring morning. The Chief is dressed in his tribal elder clothes and the breeze is rustling the many fine eagle feathers in his long headress. He looks to the Sun, smiles, then looks to his children.

The oldest of the children, a fearless and proud young brave, puffs out his chest and says to his father. "Father please tell me again how I got me name". "Well" the chief replied "It was a cold clear morning like this 10 years ago when you were born. As is the long and ancient tradition of our fathers and their forefathers you were named after the fist thing that I saw when I left the teepee in which you were born, on that wonderful morning. That is why you are called Eagle Swooping Low."

The next child, a younger squaw then asks, "Father please tell me the story of my name." . "Well" the the wise old chief replied "It was a cold clear morning like this 7 years ago when you were born. As is the long and ancient tradition of our fathers and their forefathers you were named after the fist thing that I saw when I left the teepee in which you were born. That is why, my wonderful and precious daughter, you are called Mustang Galloping"

At this point the youngest child, who has been very patient, and very quiet is excitedly waving his hand in the air, trying to get his father's attention. The Chief looks to his youngest child and chuckles at the eagerness of his son, the young brave, to ask a question. As with every father he knows exactly what the question will be. However he pretends that he doesn't to play along with his youngest and favourite child..... The wise old chief smiles and says "Well, tell me...... what is your question Don Cowie."