Rich Tea

Who the hell walks into a shop in need of biscuits and, faced with Chocolate Digestives, Custard Creams, Frig Rolls, Hob Nobs and the glorious Bourbon Cream, who for the love of god, chooses to spend actual money on this pathetic excuse for a biscuit? What are they thinking of? We're not living in communist Russia, this is the United Kingdom in the year 2012. Blue Peter told us we'd be driving round in hover cars, wearing foil for clothes and all have robot butlers, John Noakes would be turning in his grave if he knew that people would still be buying and god forbid eating something that has as much appeal as a beer mat. We're all going to hell lads.

Buy a packet, empty them into a tin and ask them all what they are called. If one is named Lionel take him with you wherever you go and he'll croon your blues away...Hello, is it him your looking for

Kamuza wrote:Buy a packet, empty them into a tin and ask them all what they are called. If one is named Lionel take him with you wherever you go and he'll croon your blues away...Hello, is it him your looking for

NO Never, even if my life depended on it. I heard those rugby players that crashed in the Andes had a case load of Rich Tea with them that some idiot had put on the flight, but decided cannibalism was preferable.

Haha great ranting.

Their super absorbent powers are good for mopping up tea spills or for sound proofing walls.

I like rich tea that are rectangular shape but the circle ones, oh my gawd, they are just ludicrous. The geezer who invented them must have just been on a wind up as they don't even fit in the BLOODY CUP.

Best biscuits are bourbons - rectangular shaped as well so the bloke who made them was obviously a thinking man and aware that AN ABNORMALLY LARGE ROUND BISCUIT WOULD NOT FIT IN THE FRIGGING CUP GOD DAMN IT.

Then Maryland cookies. Round, but at the right level to dip in tea so another thinking man. Kudos to that brother.

/rant. Im going to make some tea.

I've always, traditionally, been a bourbon/custard cream kinda guy, however recently it's changed to chocolate digestives. I've always liked them, but now I absolutely fucking love 'em. Foxes creams are a top buscuit too as well as chocolate hob nobs. But yet, Rich Tea Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

I like to dunk a Wagon Wheel in a fresh Wok of Tea...

I also like to watch my wife eat a Viscount Biscuit by peering surruptitiously through a keyhole in the door... I'm considering commissioning an oil portrait of Dale Winton with removable eyes so I can watch my wife eat HobNobs whilst I'm behind a false wall... say made of plasterboard or chipboard for example...

Valley Trash wrote:I like to dunk a Wagon Wheel in a fresh Wok of Tea...

I also like to watch my wife eat a Viscount Biscuit by peering surruptitiously through a keyhole in the door... I'm considering commissioning an oil portrait of Dale Winton with removable eyes so I can watch my wife eat HobNobs whilst I'm behind a false wall... say made of plasterboard or chipboard for example...

Is this dubious practice known as 'hobnobbing'? If you get a few packets of Rich Tea dunked in your Wok, I should think that would make a pretty good plaster mix for your false wall.

The Tonker wrote:

Valley Trash wrote:I like to dunk a Wagon Wheel in a fresh Wok of Tea...

I also like to watch my wife eat a Viscount Biscuit by peering surruptitiously through a keyhole in the door... I'm considering commissioning an oil portrait of Dale Winton with removable eyes so I can watch my wife eat HobNobs whilst I'm behind a false wall... say made of plasterboard or chipboard for example...

Is this dubious practice known as 'hobnobbing'? If you get a few packets of Rich Tea dunked in your Wok, I should think that would make a pretty good plaster mix for your false wall.

I think the term you're looking for is 'Dogging Biscuits'

Top practical advice for a baked snack pervert like myself

A tad bourgeois, but I like to dip some cantuccini biscuits in a glass of vin santo desert wine.

(While my Missus watches from the under-stairs cupboard.)

G-ster wrote:A tad bourgeois, but I like to dip some cantuccini biscuits in a glass of vin santo desert wine.

(While my Missus watches from the under-stairs cupboard.)

I do that... the Vin Santo and Almond biscuit thing... not watching you from the understairs cupboard thing... though I'm game if you are


Am I remembering this incorrectly but Im sure that understairs cupboards were called glory holes before the comfortable suede shoe cottage community commandeered the term to mean a gentleman's excuse me ventilation duct

Valley Trash wrote:Am I remembering this incorrectly but Im sure that understairs cupboards were called glory holes before the comfortable suede shoe cottage community commandeered the term to mean a gentleman's excuse me ventilation duct

Still called a glory hole in my mother in law's house.