The French

' France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.'

Mark Twain

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'I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.'

General George S. Patton

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'Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.'

Norman Schwarzkopf

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'We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.'

Marge Simpson

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'As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure.'

Jacques Chirac, President of France

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'The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.'

Regis Philbin

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'You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it.'

John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

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'The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag.'

David Letterman

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'Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada .'

Ted Nugent

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'War without France would be like...Well...World War II.'

Unknown

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'The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'

Tom Brokaw

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'What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?'

Dennis Miller

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'It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.'

Alan Kent

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'They've taken their own precautions against al-Qaida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.'

Argus Hamilton

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'Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.''

Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

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'The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq .'

Dennis Miller

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Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?

A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

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'Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried.'

Rep. R. Blount, MO

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'Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining.'

John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

Ouch!

You love the French then?

....living in France is a bit like being in Alice in Wonderland. You do have to wonder what planet the majority of the population is on......

......that said, we have more French friends than Brits, but they do view life very differently over here

Rhys wrote:You love the French then?

I don't mind the French. The Dutch though...the Dutch are a different matter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Anglo-Dutch_War

RACIST, DEPORTED.

IN FACT, DEPORTED, TO FRANCE.

Slumdog's Son wrote:

Rhys wrote:You love the French then?

I don't mind the French. The Dutch though...the Dutch are a different matter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Anglo-Dutch_War

Lots of Dutch in this part of France and they are very................tall

CB39 wrote:RACIST, DEPORTED.

IN FACT, DEPORTED, TO FRANCE.

Just so long as I'm not deported to Holland

I'm with you on this one brother.... arrogant, miming, garlic eating, stinky cheese making, shrugging fecking surrender monkeys the lot of them... Germany should have been allowed to keep France after WW2 on the win it twice keep the trophy rule...