How not to skydive...

Anybody ever done one? My Lady wants us to do a Skydive for her 30th next year.

Bloody hell! It looked like she was slipping out of her harness! Both of them must have been bricking it.

Jeezus that is a truly terrifying clip. If I ever did have any aspirations to skydive they quickly evapourated watching that.

My daughter did one about ten years ago. Says she'd do it again if offered the chance. However be careful she might fall in love with her macho instructor/co-diver who went through a near death experience with her and forever be comparing you to him. Will you stand up to the comparison?

I'd love to skydive but not with someone strapped to me, it's so undignified. If I do a skydive it'll be like James Bond or some sheeeit.

Judge dRed wrote:My daughter did one about ten years ago. Says she'd do it again if offered the chance. However be careful she might fall in love with her macho instructor/co-diver who went through a near death experience with her and forever be comparing you to him. Will you stand up to the comparison?

It's ok, I'm fighting a losing battle with Usain Bolt and the rest of the Jamaican Olympic team right now anyway. I'll impress her using the Colonel's suggestion of skydiving like Bond - I'll jump out of the plane without a parachute and wrestle one off the nearest stooge-a-like instructor.

There is literally nothing more manly than midair skydive wrestling.

Or perhaps release a brown 'smoke' trail as you hurtle earthwards screaming like a little girl lost in a supermarket... That's the way I'd probably / definitely roll

Valley Trash wrote:Or perhaps release a brown 'smoke' trail as you hurtle earthwards screaming like a little girl lost in a supermarket... That's the way I'd probably / definitely roll

Colonel Cardiffi wrote:There is literally nothing more manly than midair skydive wrestling.

Must agree with that. Two men falling out of a plane, only one parachute. Can't beat that. Ironically to win that game you have to get the opponent to win the chute first and put it on. Only when the chute is open will you be able to get sufficient time to wrestle it off the opponent and put it on yourself. Done this about a dozen times now. Would have done it more often but it's difficult to get volunteers to take me on nowadays.


One game I'm trying to sell to whatever channel wants it is "chute or no chute" 12 contestants pick parachute packs at random and fly off in a plane. As they jump out of the plane the parachute reveals an amount of money the contestant will win. The contestants have to choose amongst themselves who will jump first and so on. One of the contestants though has a dud chute. To encourage them to jump those making the jump before the dud get their prize money doubled whilst those who jump after get nothing at all. I think channel 4 would like it. They could have Noel Edmunds doing a running commentry from his helicopter.

Judge dRed wrote:

Colonel Cardiffi wrote:There is literally nothing more manly than midair skydive wrestling.

Must agree with that. Two men falling out of a plane, only one parachute. Can't beat that. Ironically to win that game you have to get the opponent to win the chute first and put it on. Only when the chute is open will you be able to get sufficient time to wrestle it off the opponent and put it on yourself. Done this about a dozen times now. Would have done it more often but it's difficult to get volunteers to take me on nowadays.


One game I'm trying to sell to whatever channel wants it is "chute or no chute" 12 contestants pick parachute packs at random and fly off in a plane. As they jump out of the plane the parachute reveals an amount of money the contestant will win. The contestants have to choose amongst themselves who will jump first and so on. One of the contestants though has a dud chute. To encourage them to jump those making the jump before the dud get their prize money doubled whilst those who jump after get nothing at all. I think channel 4 would like it. They could have Noel Edmunds doing a running commentry from his helicopter.

To this day my missus is convinced that when someone pulls the cord on their parachute 'they go up'.

Which would mean that she thinks a parachute is an anti-gravity device.

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that a parachute is actually made of magnets and is repelled by the magnetic field of the Earth, hence why it slows down the fall.

Pretty sure it was on the CCFC website, so it's DEFINITELY true.

The chute could be made of Cavorite (for any HG Wells fans) or it could be the antigravitational effects of a reverse thrust trouser trump as in 'Thunderpants'... Mrs Colonel could be onto something you know

Colonel Cardiffi wrote:To this day my missus is convinced that when someone pulls the cord on their parachute 'they go up'.

Which would mean that she thinks a parachute is an anti-gravity device.

Oh Jesus, they come out with some things don't they!